I wrote this

I don’t always write about food and frolics. Sometimes I pull my clever hat on (alright, it’s actually just my favourite pasta colander that I wear occasionally), and I manage to write something middling in interest and somewhat lacklustre in topicality. Just kidding. I hereby present earth shattering health journalism. Please, step back, no autographs.

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And here is how the magic was chanelled:
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